June?1,?2012?? Since mid March, there have been an estimated 21 violent deaths around the state that began as domestic disputes. Some of the leading advocates against domestic violence talk about what?s being done to address the problem.
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Judy King has been on the forefront of the fight against domestic violence for more than 30 years now. She became the executive director of the Rape and Domestic Violence Information Center in Morgantown 1979. The agency was started in 1974 and the first domestic violence shelter in the state opened four years later in Morgantown.
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?Women just naturally started calling,? King says. ?It was when the phenomenon was first being discovered. Before that, it was so well hidden that people didn?t talk about or know about domestic violence. Or they pretended not to. So when people started calling the agency, they decided to branch out and include that as a service, and we?ve been providing services non-stop, 24-hrs a day since then.?
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King says the shelter movement grew out of the women?s movement of the 1960s. She says over the years legislative provisions designed to protect victims and punish perpetrators have grown.
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?We?ve had to work hard to educate legislators over the years, but now we really do have good laws in WV,? King says.
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In 1979 the first WV law giving legal recourse to victims of domestic violence was passed with the Prevention of Domestic Violence Act. In 1981, the Family Protection Shelter Support Act passed?the first WV law allocating funds to assist local communities in establishing and maintaining domestic violence programs.
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Communications Coordinator Angie Rosser from the WV Coalition Against Domestic Violence is a registered lobbyist who often works to educate and make recommendations to legislators on laws that deal with domestic violence.
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?As protective orders evolved, they expanded into providing relief around financial support, child custody, possession of the house,? Rosser explains. ?We even, in 2010, passed a law that extended relief to pets. What we heard from victims is that victims felt threatened or trapped in the relationship because the abuser threatened or would harm or kill the pets. So interestingly, safety of the pets can translate into safety of the person.?
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Rosser says it takes a lifetime to learn violent behavior and unfortunately unlearning it also can take a long time. She says that as over-populated prisons continue to be a growing problem throughout the state, effort are turning from simply incarcerating abusers to trying to rehabilitate.
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King says today more than ever, changing community mind-set is the goal.?
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?Think about something like drunk driving,? King says. ?Years ago people would drive drunk at the cops would follow them home. It wasn?t enforced like it is now. But now that social norm has changed and it?s not acceptable to drive drunk anymore. And people have been taught to not be bystanders, not let their friends drive drunk. We need to have a similar response to domestic violence.
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"It?s not ok. It?s not ok to be abusive. I doesn?t matter that you?re angry. Anger is an emotion, it?s not a behavior. You might want to let go of your anger in the way that you?ve always learned, but you can learn to do it another way.?
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Rosser says intervention can be dangerous. She says the coalition against domestic violence encourages witnesses to call 911 and everyone else to be familiar with resources that are available in the area so that they can make referrals if need be.
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?Probably the most important thing we can do is be a trusting friend, a confidant, who will listen to victims and ask questions about what?s happening in their relationship and be able to respond non-judgmentally. And also to insure confidentiality,? Rosser says.
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King says, in the effort to educate young people and adults about domestic violence, one of the most important lessons is understanding the dynamics of a healthy relationship.
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?The very most important thing is that relationships need to be based on equality, not on power and control of one partner over another. Kids should be taught from an early age that they should have a right in relationships to negotiate, to have a say, to be heard, to be taken seriously. Those are the things we teach both adults and kids.?
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?Love shouldn?t hurt,? King adds. ?Love shouldn?t break bones or hearts. It should feel good.?
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Rosser says there are resources available in all 55 West Virginia counties and anyone who needs help or might know someone else who does can call the national domestic violence hotline, 1-800-799-SAFE, to be connected to local and confidential services.
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